Soulmates
by capmalreynolds
Summary: Doraelin fic inspired by eternitydoraelin. Sometime after QoS.
1. Betrayal

I storm through the upstairs hallway, not caring who or what I knock into on my way. I hear faint sounds of people I've just bothered, but I don't turn back to apologize. My destination is straight ahead, the dark blue door at the end of the hall. Here at the safehouse, this room has been where Rowan and I have stayed together, been together, explored each other. Here was where I felt I could finally trust a person fully after all the years of pain I've faced, just so I can return to this room with anger steaming in me. I'm royally pissed. At Rowan.

The door slams into the wall when I throw it open. "Rowan!" I yell at him. He's standing by the desk instead of sitting in the chair, looking over some maps and papers. "How could you?" I strain myself, holding back tears the best I can, to stay strong and not let my weaknesses slip through. I can't let him know how much he's surprised and thrown me...how much he's hurt me. I have to make this cynical, about the mission. Then we can fix this and things can go back to the way they were only a few hours ago when I knew nothing about what he's done.

His green eyes soften and he runs his fingers back through his hair. He sighs and takes a seat in the desk chair, obviously preparing to give me bad news. He gestures towards the armchair across the desk, adjacent to the fireplace, wanting me to sit down, too. But I refuse; I cross my arms and stand tall and firmly in place.

"I only did it to help you," Rowan sighs as he admits this. I didn't expect him to lie or try to cover it, but Aedion having been the one to tell me about his betrayal, _Aedion_ who treats Rowan like a brother in arms and in spirit, I knew how bad this really was. "I thought you'd understand. I love you, Aelin, and I'm going to protect you at all costs. It's simple instincts for me."

His voice is steady and smooth, like he'd been up here waiting for me to accuse him. Like he'd planned out every word he was going to say to me, to try to win me over. "You know that's not what this was about. Whether you love me or not, I am the Queen of Terrasen and there are duties that come with that job! Yes, there is some risk, but I'm a trained assassin with Fae magic, and Aedion was coming right along with me." I pause, trying to slow down. My words are coming out too jumbled and emotional. "This wasn't your call."

Rowan stands up so quickly that the desk chair falls over behind him. His height towers over me and makes me feel small and insignificant. He places each of his hands on my shoulders, as if to calm me down. "I had to do it, Aelin. Do you know how dangerous the Wastes are? Just because Manon paid back her debt to you doesn't mean she'd be willing to switch sides for you."

"Exactly, Rowan! We don't know - which is why Aedion and I and a hundred soldiers were going to negotiate with her. What else do we have? How else are we supposed to counter the Duke's army that's growing every day?!"

"I wasn't going to take that chance. They're more powerful than all of us - hell, _one_ of them is more powerful than us. If you rubbed even one of them the wrong way, you'd be dead."

"So you don't trust me to make the negotiation responsibly? I know I can be rude, Rowan, but I wouldn't be that ignorant. I'm your _Queen_ and you don't trust me?"

"Gods, Aelin, of course I trust you. That's not what this is about."

I can't help it and a few tears fall from my eyes. I push his hands off of me and go to leave the room. I need some air, some time to process this all. How could he have meddled with these plans that we'd all been working on for weeks now? Manon and her Blackbeak clan were so reluctant to meet with us, that now we've lost that chance entirely. This war has been so stressful for me, and now Rowan who I am supposed to be able to trust with my life, has betrayed me.

Right as I go to leave the room, Rowan speaks up, "I'd do it again, you know. I could never lose you and I'd never let you take that risk."

That does it. The tears start falling faster and faster, and I cover my face with my hands to try and mask my crying. I run back down the stairs and into the storage cellar where Elide is helping a girl get towels for something.

Elide comes to me immediately, letting her towels fall into the arms of the other girl. "What's happened, Aelin? I thought you and Aedion and the others were heading out to the Wastes today?"

I wipe the wetness from my face and attempt to pull myself together. I breathe in deeply before responding. "There was...a change of plans."

"So you're not going?"

I shake my head. "I need some time and space to...to figure things out…" I had hoped the cellar would have been empty, as the safehouse's residents usually preside in the common room upstairs, but unfortunately I've been proven wrong. I need some privacy, but where? There must be a handful of people in every room in this damn house. I can't even go to my own room!

Elide looks seriously worried. "You can't leave the safehouse, Aelin. You know that, right? Where would you even go? Terrasen and Adarlan both are in war torn states…"

A place comes to mind where I know I'll be safe. A place far enough from here that I can get a little breathing room. I exit the cellar without answering Elide. It doesn't matter if she knows where I'm headed. I'll tell Aedion but then I'm out of here.

Rowan betrayed me. Chaol abandoned me. But Dorian...I smile at the thought of him. It's been too long since I've paid him a visit.


	2. A Home At Last

The last time I'd seen Dorian, it was when we released magic back to Erilea, and then we'd all left him. I still feel so shitty about that; I feel like we've all abandoned him. He doesn't deserve that, after all he's been through, being left alone to rot in his darkest thoughts. But there was something so bright about him the last time I saw him...when his magic was at its peak, having finally tasted pure, magic-filled air, and we joined hands, our fire and ice intertwining and becoming one…

We connected; we meshed. It was more than our magic becoming one, _we_ were becoming one. The light I saw and felt in him was so purely good, something I'd never felt before. Everyone, even Chaol who I once thought was perfect, or Rowan who I had entrusted my life, has proven they have some darkness in them. But Dorian has always been good, always pure. He's too good for me, I know, but there's something about the way our magic flows together, like we were meant to be. Like the gods and the stars put us here to be together. I don't deserve him.

After the siege on the glass castle, Dorian's stayed in a safehouse near Anielle. Only Chaol and I know his true whereabouts, for his own safety. It's a quaint cottage like home, and I can see him puttering around in the kitchen, cooking something. I roll my eyes - damned fool, leaving the curtains open for all to see! He's supposed to be hidden from the world, not seen through a window! But with the surrounding mountains and forests, I guess only us three really know this house even exists.

I near the door to the cottage, my heart tightening and my breathing quickening. I clench and unclench my sweaty fists repeatedly - how can I face him? After all this time without seeing him, without checking to see if he's been alright...oh, Gods, he hates me, doesn't he?

I pause at the front door and try to think of something plausible to explain why I'm here, but suddenly it seems this is a severe overreaction. But this is more than Rowan's betrayal, isn't it? I do miss Dorian, and that glimpse of him through the window is enough to make me want more. I need to see him; I knock on the door.

Not wanting him to think somebody's discovered his whereabouts, I call, "Dorian? It's Aelin."

The door opens hesitantly, and a pair of bright, sapphire eyes greets me. "Aelin! Come in!" he greets me cheerfully.

I follow him into the cottage and he closes the door behind me. He's wearing an apron with flour dusted on it - so he _is_ cooking. I chuckle. Of all the things the King of Adarlan can do, I never assumed cooking would be one of them. He leads me into the kitchen where the aroma of pie hits me instantly, it's so warm and inviting. Leave it to Dorian to make a safehouse homely.

Dorian sits down at a small, rectangular table and gestures for me to do the same. I fold and unfold my arms, still nervous, as I sit. Why had he invited me in so kindly? Doesn't he hate me for leaving him all this time?

He looks like he's going to say something, probably ask why I'm here, but I cut him off. "I'm sorry I haven't seen you in so long. I know how hard things have been, because of Sorscha then the collar, but I had to go to Terrasen. I would've sent word, to check in on you sooner, but that would compromise both of our locations. I'm sorry," I blurt.

Dorian blinks and then smiles his snarky grin, as if this is amusing to him. "Aelin, I know you had to go back to Terrasen. I don't blame you for that; I'd never do that. I am glad to see you, though, it's been a real long while…" He pauses and bites his bottom lip. "So, why, exactly, are you here?"

I can't explain about Rowan without sounding like a spoiled brat complaining about her relationship issues - oh, Gods, are we even _in_ a relationship anymore? - so I just tell him about the mission being compromised. He nods and squints his eyes a little, listening and asking the appropriate questions from time to time as I tell him every last thing that's happened while living at the safehouse. While I blabber on and on, he continues baking, and I notice after the pie is done he begins making a cake. A chocolate cake - for me.

When I'm done telling the story, and the cake is almost done, Dorian sits down again with his pie. "Who was it that ruined the mission?" A ghastly look swims on his face. He grabs my hands in his smooth, warm ones and squeezes them. "Is that why you're here, Aelin? Are you in danger?" The look in his blue eyes tells me he's prepared to do anything to keep me safe here with him.

Holding back tears at the thought of what Rowan did, I shake my head. "No, no. It was an inside job. Someone...someone didn't want me to go on the mission." I look up at him, embarrassment in my eyes. Chaol and Dorian would never have done that to me, to the cause. I know they trust my judgement and my abilities.

He nods as if he fully understands. "I see." He gets up and takes the finished cake - now cooled and frosted - and brings it to the table along with utensils. He won't start on his pie until I take a bite of the cake. Always the gentleman.

It's extremely good. Perfect, even. Rich and chocolatey and filling… "Mmm," I moan as I practically inhale a second bite.

The rest of the night goes along faster than I'd like, and Dorian and I banter back and forth without missing a beat. Things just click with us, and go right back to how they should be, and suddenly it's like we're at the glass castle during the King's Champion competition, when Dorian and I spent all of our time together…

When Dorian and I _were_ together.

After we ate, he told me about how he's honed his once poor cooking skills while he's been here. "I've had a lot of free time, alone, you know," he said, which made me feel bad again even though the tone in his voice held not one shred of anger. Then he took me on a short tour of the cottage before we watched the sunset from the bedroom window. I told him it wasn't safe to leave the curtains open while he's in hiding, which made him blush so red, which made me giggle. So we ran around closing all the curtains, laughing and joking together.

I really needed this. Some time away from all the stress and the duties of being a queen. Spending time with Dorian has reminded me that it's okay to play around, even with what's going on...Rowan has been so serious, glaring at me whenever I try to joke around or spend a little extra time in the bedroom with him.

"There's a war going on, Aelin. Tell me you understand that?" he'd berate me. I'd scoff and roll my eyes, which would make him growl, so I'd laugh, and he'd get protective again. An endless cycle. It felt nice, at first, to have someone protecting me all the time. To watch my back and keep me from falling. But now it just feels so suffocating, like Rowan doesn't think I'm capable of taking care of myself.

Dorian throws another log into the fireplace, causing the fire to crackle and spark. I smirk. "I could just feed it, you know." I snap and spark my own flames which dance on my fingertips.

He chuckles. "But that would be too easy, My Queen. The assassin I know has always been up for a challenge." He sinks down next to me on the floor, crossing his legs. "Or have you gone soft?"

In an instant I change my form, my ears coming to a point and my teeth sharpening and my magic growing warmer within. I tackle Dorian and pin him down, his raven black hair only mere inches from the glowing fireplace. I hold his arms above his head, leaving him helpless, and growl at him. This close to him, I notice he has flour in his hair, too. And I notice the dark circles under his eyes - how could I not have seen them earlier? - most likely from his nights full of restlessness.

He just stares me down, laughing. "There she is!" he laughs. I sit up, still on top of him, and shift back into my human appearance. I frown, remembering that despite his carefree laugh, he's been through so much in just a few months. He props himself up on his elbows and gazes into my eyes. The fire snaps and cracks.

"What's the matter?"

"It was Rowan. Who messed with the mission...who...who betrayed us. Me. Whatever," I'm blabbering, I know, but I also know that Dorian won't mind or judge me for it. He reaches up and wipes a stray tear I didn't even know I had from my cheek.

I realize I'm still on top of him, so I climb off and wrap my arms around my knees, pulling them to my chest. Dorian sits up and stares into the fire. "I haven't gotten to know Rowan, but I know what he means to you. I'm sorry, Aelin; no one deserves to be betrayed by the ones they love."

There's a deeper meaning to those words that hits me in the gut, but I continue on about Rowan. Like the selfish bitch I am. I've come all this way to Dorian, interrupting his safety and serenity, while he's probably been rebuilding himself after having been possessed and then attacked, but I'm going on about my own problems. Meaningless problems, at that. But I can't help it, I don't stop. "That's the thing, though...he said he was doing it _for_ me, because he didn't want to see me hurt! But I'm _Adarlan's Assassin_ , and _Queen_ of Terrasen - after all, I should be trusted to make decisions!"

Dorian doesn't break his stare at the flames, but his voice snaps at me. "I don't blame him."

I'm baffled and a little thrown - first of all, he snapped at me, which I don't think he's ever done, and secondly, he _agrees_ with Rowan?! "What?" I say, slack-jawed.

He turns to me and his eyes are red and wet. "He loves you and made a decision to protect you, to possibly save your life. If Sorscha was alive, I'd do anything to make sure she'd stay that way."

"Even if it meant betraying her? And destroying a possible alliance that would mean saving the entire continent?" I snap back at him. I feel like such a bitch right now, but I have to hold strong. What kind of queen would I be if I can't?

His voice gets small and gentle as tears slip from his eyes. "I don't know, Aelin. I'll never be faced with that choice. I'm just saying that you shouldn't throw away your relationship with him because he wants to keep you safe."

"I'm not throwing away my relationship with him!" I get up on my feet and begin pacing back and forth.

"Aelin -"

"Things are just complicated right now! And I can keep myself safe, thank you very much!" My voice is raising with every sentence.

" _Aelin_ -"

"For Gods' sake, if we lose the war because of this, I'll -"

"Aelin!"

Dorian is on his feet now, too, trying to get me to stand still, but I can't. I'm pissed as hell, and I'm too wound up to quit stirring. "It'll be my fault," I sigh, trying to calm down. "Without this alliance...if we lose...it'll be on me…" I stop my pacing and turn around to see him.

"Aelin, losing the war couldn't possibly be your fault. There are dozens of reasons why we could lose, but you will never be one of them."

Fuck it - I cry. I let the tears pour out of me as I collapse into his chest. He smells like home; he feels like home, too. He wraps his arms around me, holding and supporting me so I don't fall down. He's petting my hair, whispering "shh". He doesn't question me or judge me or make me feel inadequate. He makes me feel okay, like breaking down and crying isn't a sign of weakness.

"Dorian?" I snivel up at him.

"Hm?"

"Can I go to bed? It was a long trek here…"

Dorian's hold on me eases and he plants a kiss on the top of my head. "Of course. I showed you the bedroom, right? I'll just grab some blankets and let you rest."

No way - he seriously doesn't think he's sleeping on the couch, does he? I shake my head at him and grab his hand, leading him to the bedroom. In a completely platonic way, I remind myself.

Dorian seems to be just as exhausted as I am, so he doesn't even bother arguing. He goes to the bathroom to change his clothes then pauses. "Do you want a change of clothes? You can wear something of mine, if you'd like. It doesn't appear you've brought any clothes...or anything at all."

"I was a bit rushed on my way out," I admit. He gives me one of his shirts that smells deliciously like him and I take it gratefully. I rip off my tunic and leggings quickly, standing only in my undergarments, and throw on his shirt. It's long enough to cover my butt, so I don't bother putting on the pants he offered me.

I climb into bed beside him and snuggle up close next to him. It's been so long since I've slept in a bed alone, I'm not sure if I'll ever be comfortable going back to sleeping alone ever again.

Then I think of Rowan, sleeping alone tonight in our bed. What would he think if he knew I was sharing a bed with Dorian tonight? Sharing a bed with my ex? I shove those thoughts down and breathe Dorian's familiar scent in. He's all I need right now - not Rowan, not Terrasen, not anything. Just him.


	3. A Great Idea

The sun bleeding through pale curtains dances on my face. I awaken slowly and groggily, only aware of Rowan lying beside me. I don't open my eyes yet, I just wrap my arms around him and nuzzle my face into the spot between his head and shoulder. He smells different, more human and soft. I reach my hand up to pet his hair, and then I sit up straight in an instant.

Dorian is asleep in bed, not Rowan. I run my fingers through my short, blonde hair and curse myself. When was the last time I _hadn't_ slept in a bed next to Rowan? Dorian rolls over in his sleep and I'm quiet as I get out of bed, careful not to wake him. I smile; he looks so at peace in his sleep. Like his demons have finally let him be, let him get a little rest. Part of me wants to wake him up just so I can see his lazy smile and sapphire eyes, but the more rational part of me reminds myself that he needs all the escape from his demons that he can get.

I go to the kitchen and rummage through the cabinets, looking for food. There are dozens of ingredients for cooking, but other than that there's some fruit. I bet Dorian has made himself French toast and eggs and fresh orange juice every morning. I bet if he was awake right now, he'd offer to make it for me, too. Or anything else that I'd like. I settle for an apple and pull myself up on the counter to sit.

If I wasn't Queen, I could see myself living here. Not here exactly, but a place like this. A homely, sweet cottage that's somewhere far enough from the bustle of the city that I could just relax. Between my lives as an assassin, champion, and queen, I'm ready for a break. When I was with Chaol, I imagined us together in that serenity, but now Chaol is someone I hardly ever talk to, let alone think of romantically. With Rowan, I could never picture us someplace quiet, living alone with just the two of us for miles. I don't think he could live that way, even if he'd want to. In our future, all I can see is battle and war. Fighting and conquering. I can't see a one-bedroom cottage in the middle of the mountains.

But none of that matters; I'll never get to live that life. There will never be a time I'm not Queen. I love my country and my people and I'm proud to rule them and stand for them, but sometimes it's nice to be...alone. When I lived at the Assassins' Keep and then at the glass castle, all I ever wanted was to be somewhere else, to get away. I don't know if I'll ever find a place where I can feel at ease, at home.

Dorian stumbles into the kitchen. His hair is messy, sticking up in all sorts of directions, and his eyes are tired. "Hey, sleepy head," I muse.

He grins at me before sitting at the table and rubbing his eyes. "I wake up exhausted every day. I'm used to it by now."

I sit across from him and ruffle his hair. "Love the look, King. It's very royal."

"Shut up," he moans.

I smirk and keep going. "What? Disheveled and unkempt looks good on you."

"And idiotic and arrogant looks good on you," he shoots back, matching my smirk.

"Ouch," I laugh. Maybe it is possible...for me to find a home. The way Dorian makes me feel - the way he's always made me feel - reminds of the safety and comfort I lived in when I was young, before everything went to hell.

We eat breakfast and chat lightly, falling into our old ways. As I help him wash the dishes, he asks me, "So when do you have to go back?"

"What?"

"Well, you can't stay forever. And you'll have to get back to Terrasen. For that little war thing that's going on, remember?" He's trying to make light of the situation, but I just frown. I can't go back to Terrasen and face my people with nothing to go on. No alliance with the witches, no alliances at all.

Then it hits me. The most obvious answer to all of this.

"Dorian!" I exclaim, grinning. I grab him by the shoulders even though my hands are soapy. He's holding tightly to an ivory dish as if he's afraid I'll shake him and he'll drop it. "It's so simple! How couldn't I have seen it?!" I give him a quick, excited kiss on the cheek before sprinting off to his room to put my other clothes back on.

I can tell I left him confused, but there's no time to waste. I grab his bags and start shoving all of his things in them while shouting, "Dorian, pack up all your things!"

He stands in the doorway while I cram another one of his fine tailored tunics into a bag already filled with them. He's still clutching that dish, his brow furrowed and his eyes skeptical. "Aelin, are you going to explain any of this?"

"Of course. I'll explain on the way. Just grab all of your things and hurry. We're setting out for Terrassen as soon as possible."


	4. Mates

Rather surprisingly, Dorian doesn't complain about the trek to Terrasen. It's on foot and in secret, so we have to take a lot of back roads and overgrown forests. When I told him my plan, he agreed, and added some other good points to it. We'll have to go over it with Rowan, Aedion, and the others, but I know they'll be all for it. It's genius.

We're only about a day in, so we haven't yet expanded the details of our plan. But we have a little over a week until we reach the safehouse in Terrasen, so we have enough time to go over and perfect everything.

About halfway through packing, Dorian pointed out that we wouldn't be able to carry all of his bags on a week long journey. We settled for his clothes and as many books as we could get without physically straining ourselves. I shifted into my Fae form so I could access my strength and carry more, which Dorian took as a challenge, so he grabbed even more of his books.

I can see the sweat on his brow and it's only then that I realize I'm sweating, too. The temperature isn't too high, but we've been walking all day, so the exhaustion has built up almost unbearably. It reminds of what Dorian said: _I wake up exhausted every day. I'm used to it by now._ The sun is almost completely gone, so I pull Dorian aside to stop him.

"We should find a place to rest for the night, or even just a few hours. I'll die if I don't get some sleep," I add with a flashy smile. He sighs with obvious relief. Good - I can tell he needs the sleep.

"Where?" is all he responds with.

I shrug. "Anywhere's good, really. Just something with a little shield from the impending rain - it's spring now, did you even know that? I didn't - and we should be good."

"Like this?" Dorian calls from over by a small clearing. I trudge over leaves and fallen branches until I reach him and look around. There are trees still surrounding the clearing, and a creek that lines the trees. On the other side of the creek is what looks like part of the beginnings of a mountain, and there's a little crack in the stone that appears to be a cave.

"Looks good," I agree, "but we need to make sure there aren't any animals already inhabiting it." He nods and sloshes through the creek; I follow him closely. He peers into the cave and I come up next to him, summoning my fire to light up the darkness. It's empty, save for some leaves and dirt. I grin. "Perfect."

We head inside and make sure to cover the entrance behind us with rocks and branches to conceal any possible people wandering out from seeing us. I use my fire to make a torch using a shirt and some sticks. Dorian gets the blanket from one of the bags while I get the makeshift torch in place so it won't fall over and burn us both.

Thunder claps outside and I jump a little, which makes Dorian chuckle. I blush from embarrassment as I swat his arm. "Shut up! I'm just looking or for predators and things...we wouldn't want the King of Adarlan to die while last seen with the Queen of Terrasen, now would we?"

"Right," he drawls, still grinning jokingly. I hit him again and he mocks pain. "You were the one who pointed out it was gonna rain!"

I roll my eyes, giving up. I am really too tired to be arguing with Dorian of all people who is probably the only person who stands on the same ground as I do wit-wise. "Whatever. Go to sleep." I push him down so he's lying on his back; I curl up next to him and let him wrap his arms around me.

"Should we put out the torch? I don't wanna burn in my sleep," he asks.

"With that mentality you shouldn't be sleeping so close to me," I smirk. He rolls his bright, blue eyes as he summons his own magic to smother the fire. It's pretty, his ice covering my fire, and it's right. Our magic melding.

He lies back down beside me and rewraps his arms around my back, pulling me closer to him. Despite our sweaty walk through the woods all day, some Gods-damned way he's managed to still smell like heaven. This boy is the only real proof heaven does exist. I find myself staring at him as he drifts to sleep; his skin is still golden brown even though he's been living in the shade for months now. I graze my fingers along the stubble that's grown, which so unlike the clean-cut Dorian I know.

"What're you doing?" he mumbles as he gracefully takes my hand in his. He gives it a soft squeeze then releases it. I wish he hadn't.

"You haven't shaved in awhile." My voice seems pathetic and I wonder why I'm even saying these things. But I feel such a strong need to touch him all of a sudden, to be as near to him as physically possible.

He chuckles and pulls me into him, but somehow it's still not close enough. I need more. I run my hands through his dark, curly hair as I prop myself up to look at him better. Gods, he's so damn attractive. I remember that being the first thing I picked up on when I met him in the throne room. It seems so long ago, years even, when in reality not even a full year has passed.

His eyes flutter open, but I can barely see them. Through the cracks in our makeshift door, moonlight shines in and illuminates parts of the cave. "Aelin…?"

"Shh," I whisper into his ear. I follow my instincts, I follow the Fae magic humming inside of me. I kiss him, and everything suddenly feels right. Like all the pieces are finally falling into place, simply because of him. His lips, his eyes, his hands, his skin. _Him_. He tastes the same way he did the last time I kissed him, but also brand new. Like the same Dorian, just new and improved.

He tries to break the kiss, but I won't let him. Anything he needs to tell me he can do later; I need this right now. I need him now. I climb on top of him, straddling him. Having to break the kiss for air and to pull his shirt over his head, Dorian uses that split moment to say, "Rowan?"

I finally allow myself to realize the truth, to accept the thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head the past few days. About the betrayal, and Rowan, and Dorian. "I'll deal with him when we get to Terrasen. But...but...I'm so confused, Dorian. Since I've been here, since I've seen you again, it's like all I can feel is this buzzing connection to you. Not just here, though, but months ago when you got freed from the Valg prince and magic got released. Ever since then I've felt that connection pulsing in me, like our magic is linked."

I'm blabbering again. All these feelings pouring out of me, all the while I'm sitting on top of the King of Adarlan, and all I want to do is rip his pants off. His chest is gleaming from where the moonlight hits him through the slits in the cave entrance. I want to kiss him again, but I don't want him to reject me. Gods, I'm so inconsiderate...he must not even be over Sorscha yet, and here I am trying to get into his pants.

"But what about Rowan? Don't you...don't you love him?" Dorian asks meekly, like he's afraid of the answer.

"I can't love someone I can't trust."

He props himself up on his elbows and looks me dead straight in the eyes. "I know what you're talking about. That connection? Well, I feel it too." He says this more rushed, like he's excited. Like there's something important he has to get to. "And I think I might know why."

"Go on," I say nervously.

"With everything you have with Rowan, you might not want to hear this," he counters cautiously. "It might not even be the reason for all this…"

" _Go on_ ," I repeat steadier.

Dorian swallows before continuing. "You know how I read a lot?"

"You? Really? No way."

"Shut up. Anyway, when I did a lot of reading about Fae a few years ago - which I never told anyone about, mind you, because the fact that I had those books in my possession let alone read them could've had me executed - I learned something. It might not apply to us, because you're only a demi-Fae and I'm, well, human. But it's this connection Fae have with someone, usually another Fae, called their 'mate'."

"I know. Rowan told me about that while I was in Wendlyn," I explain. The mention of Rowan's name makes Dorian shift uncomfortably under me. I climb off of him so he can sit up, but I stay as close to him as possible. "It doesn't just apply to two Faes. It can be one Fae and a human. Or a demi-Fae and someone…"

"Does he...did he…" He can't seem to articulate his sentence, but I know what he's trying to ask.

"No. His mate...died. A long time ago," I respond.

He looks confused and upset. "So he knows there is no possibility of you two being mates? And that your real mate is out there somewhere? But he chooses to stay with you anyway?"

Gods, I never thought of it that way. "Yes. Yes. Dorian...that doesn't matter. I know what you're saying - gods, I feel like I know everything about you - and...you're my mate. I know you are. I've never hurt you - did you read about that? - and that _connection_ is so gods-damn strong. _You're my mate, Dorian Havilliard_."

At this point all four of our hands are tangled together in a big mess, and there are silver tears lining my eyes. Dorian leans in and kisses me big and full, untangling our hands so he can tangle his in my hair. Suddenly he's on top of me and I can feel him.

We fall into sync and all I can hear is the sound of his voice, moaning my name, and the rain, softly pattering outside.


	5. The Alliance

The plan, in simplest terms, is this: Terrasen and Adarlan will merge to fight against Duke Perrington's army. There is so much more to it, but that's the basics of it. We need to go over it with Aedion, Rowan, and everyone. Also, the biggest point of discussion, is how long the alliance should last. People from Terrasen are - reasonably and without fault - reluctant to join forces with the people from Adarlan.

"We could go separate ways when the war is over? Then the soldiers from both countries will be more likely to agree to the terms of an alliance. Right?" I'm speaking my thoughts out loud. We have only a few more hours - if my estimate is correct - until we reach the safehouse in Terrasen. We've covered every detail and point we could think of, except for the major one.

"Mhmm," Dorian mutters in response. I can tell he's lost in his thoughts, always trying to come up with the best plans for his country. He really will be a fantastic king. Adarlan will continue to prosper under his rule, I'm sure, but I also know it'll get shaped up and remade into a clean kingdom rather than the shithole it is now.

I come up next to him and hold his hand, swinging our arms between us as we walk. "What do you think, King?"

He stops for a moment and sighs deeply. "I think a long-lasting alliance would be healthy for both Terrasen and Adarlan. We've had problems with one another for too long, and this war could be a good way to begin to come back from all the shit my father did to your people. They would have to understand that I'm not him, and I would never treat them the way he did. Allying during the war could prove that to them."

We continue on, still holding hands, and I consider his motives. It all _sounds_ kosher, but...would Rowan or Aedion agree? Or my people of Terrasen? I shake my head to myself as I think of what their response would be...but Dorian's right. An alliance between us would be good, and he can prove to them that he's a fair and just ruler.

We'll have to discuss it with the group when we get to the safehouse, I suppose.

By the time we reach the house, the sun has set and stars have decorated themselves across the darkness. I find the constellation of the stag, always leading North to Terrasen, to home. The safehouse is hidden mostly by trees and brush, but I remember how to get here, of course. I squeeze Dorian's hand one last time before letting it go.

"I need to talk to Rowan," I explain.

Dorian nods understandingly, and we approach the front door. Elide opens the door before we're even an arm's' length from it and immediately slams into me, hugging me tightly.

"Aelin! Thank Gods you're back! We have great news!" She pulls Dorian and me inside after giving Dorian a small "hello". She leads us to the common room where Rowan, Aedion, Nesryn, Chaol, and the others are. Chaol rushes to Dorian to embrace him as they share greetings and smiles, and Rowan looks like he wants to do the same but doesn't.

"Sit," Elide says as she gestures to the chairs surrounding a large table. We sit next to Chaol and Nesryn.

"Nice to see you, Your Majesty," Aedion says, smirking at Dorian who shoots him a grin in return. Aedion is the only one standing, and Rowan is the only one seated away from the table. Everyone still must be upset with him. "We have some great news to share with you, my queenly cousin! Though there was an unfortunate...altercation with the previous mission, our very own Elide Lochan has fixed it all!"

"Oh my Gods, Elide! That's fantastic!" I exclaim. She smiles, crinkling her freckles. "How?"

"Manon, the new Matron of the Blackbeak clan, and I have had a history together. She found out about my heritage and included me in her clan to save me from my abusive uncle...we became very close. I reached out to her after the mission got compromised, and she agreed to come here. Her and her Thirteen," Elide concludes, grinning widely and proudly.

When Elide first arrived in Terrasen a few weeks ago, she gave me a Wyrdkey that Manon told her to give to me. I knew that she had come from the witches' camp, but I didn't know that they had been friends. Knowing this now makes me wish we had included her more in the original plans.

"They should be arriving in a couple of days," Chaol adds, looking directly at me. "And they'll be coming with their wyverns."

"Wonderful. While King Dorian and I were on our way here, we worked on another advantage point to be taken for the war," I say as queenly as I can. I'm surprisingly nervous and I wish Dorian will just cut in and take over. He clears his throat and continues on, as if he can sense my discomfort. I smile at the thought.

"An alliance between Terrasen and Adarlan." Dorian's voice is strong and steady; he's made for being a king. It seems to come so naturally to him. Nobody says anything after this, but a few people share nervous glances. My stomach twists.

Aedion sits down and runs his fingers through his hair. "I have to admit, I've considered that option. It makes sense, really it does, but the response of the people could go either way."

"With my father out of the picture, and the position of King being mine to fill, I will tirelessly strive to prove to the people of Terrasen that in an alliance they will be treated fairly and equally," Dorian states firmly.

Aedion nods at him. "I trust you to lead your people, Dorian. I have no question when it comes to that. But the past encounters Terrasen has had with Adarlan haven't been pleasant ones, as we all know. How long would this alliance last? Would it liquidate after the war is over?"

"Aelin and I discussed that and decided it was best for all of us to have a say in how long the alliance would be active. Personally, I believe that for the best interests of Terrasen and Adarlan alike, the alliance should exceed the war."

"Alright," Aedion says, nodding again, "I trust in the decision of my Queen. Whatever she deems best for Terrasen I will back up until the day I die. Aelin, what do you think?"

My heart is racing. I hadn't thought this would all be up to me. I had expected Aedion and Chaol and maybe Rowan to all input their opinions and ideas, but Aedion is willing to blindly follow my every word. "Well," I start nervously, "from the thought I've given it, I agree with the King. I think Terrasen needs help getting back on its feet, and will especially need that help after the war has ended. All of the countries in Erilea could benefit from help from Adarlan, so I think this opportunity is one we need to take."

"Does anyone have another suggestion?" Aedion's voice booms through the room as he stands up again.

A few people state that they too will follow me no matter what, and a couple others say they agree with the idea of an alliance.

"Good," I say. "Now I suggest we prepare for our witch visitors."


	6. The One

The Blackbeak witches arrived two days ago. Manon Blackbeak and her esteemed Thirteen were rather chill and relaxed upon their arrival. Most of them were pleased to see Elide alive and well, but Manon was outright joyous to reunite with her. I even think they're sharing a room.

Dorian got settled in a room next to Chaol's, and I've been sharing it with him. We haven't done anything since that night in the cave, but it's nice to be near him. My mate. It's obvious Rowan can tell something is going on with us, but he hasn't said anything and neither have I. With the budding alliance and everything else, there just hasn't been an appropriate time to discuss relationships things with him.

Aedion and Manon have been going over what our - few - plans are for the war and defensive strategies against the Duke's army. Chaol, Rowan, and Dorian, along with some members of the Thirteen, often join those discussions, but I rarely do. I go over and finalize plans in the end, okay-ing this or that, but mostly I try to stay out of it. I'm not as useful in a humid, cramped room making battle strategies than I am with communications. Lysandra and I have been giving updates as needed to the people of Terrasen, which is difficult because not only are _we_ in hiding, but so are a lot of them. They're also in a great state of panic and displacement, which makes getting out important information a tiresome task.

Working on the alliance with Adarlan is our secondary focus. Dorian and I, being the King of Adarlan and Queen of Terrasen, respectively, are basically alone in making these decisions. In our spare time - which we have very little of - we sit under the peach trees out back to hide from the summer sun, chatting lightly about happier things than war and violence and loss. Dorian's made a lot of progress in honing his magic, so sometimes we'll just playfully conjure up our fire and ice.

It's nightfall now; the others are all inside finishing up supper and telling stories to pass the time before returning to the common room. Dorian and I snuck out with some fruit and wine, heading towards our favorite peach tree. We clink glasses before sipping down the sweet cherry wine.

"Don't drink too much, we don't need a tipsy Queen giving out orders." Dorian chuckles. I nudge his arm and kiss him on the nose. We haven't had many chances to be alone, so a peck on the cheek or a quick brush of our lips is all we can manage. So I give into our brief period of solitude and give him a full kiss.

He smiles and I blush. He takes my hand in his and squeezes it gently. "I've been considering something, Aelin. Announcing the alliance to both your people and mine won't be easy, I know, but I've wanted to ask you this for a long time. With everything going on between us now, I…" He pauses and exhales deeply. He drops down onto one knee and pulls a small box from his back pocket.

"Oh Gods, Dorian…" I can't even think of what to say. Is this really happening?

Dorian opens the box to reveal a glistening ring with jewels the colors of Adarlan's flag. "This is the ring King Gavin gave to Elena hundreds of years ago. It's been passed down in my family line ever since. To all who have worn it, it's represented a bond of love rooted deeply in pure goodness that is to be carried out in the rule of the people of Adarlan. My mother gave it to me after my father died; to her it is a reminder of what Adarlan used to be. Of what it _should_ be. I'm giving this ring to you, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius, in hopes you'll add yet another surname to your already ridiculously long name. I love you; you're my mate and I want you to be my wife. My Queen. Will you do me that honor, Aelin?"

Tears are slipping silently down my face. Tears of a mess of emotions inside me - happiness and excitement, but also caution and confusion. To be with Dorian for the rest of my life, to rule beside him, to love him forever...it's all I could ever want. But if I accept, if I take that ring, what will that mean for my people? What will that mean for his? My heart is telling me yes, but my heart has made some untrustworthy choices in the past.

I calm my breathing and steady myself. "I love you, Dorian, but Terrasen does not love Adarlan."

He nods and stands up, but keeps the ring out. "I know that. But after this war, so much will be different. Who says that they can't love each other? My father is dead, and you have returned. There's nothing stopping us from making up. Even if that could somehow never happen, I will still love you. And I will still want to marry you."

I pull him into me and hug him. "Yes, I'll marry you, you beautiful idiot! I love you!" I kiss him again, deeply and passionately. I can sense that there are people nearby, but damn it all to hell - I don't care. I look into his sapphire eyes and say what needs to be said before anything else happens: "We'll need to further discuss what this means for our two countries, Dorian. Nothing is settled now."

He nods again, still grinning like a madman. Madly in love, isn't that what they say? He slips the ring onto my finger and it shines in the orange, setting sun. I kiss him again, my arms around his neck and his arms around my lower back. I could live in this moment forever; I could keep my eyes closed and disappear into it. Sink in and never come back. This is what I need.

Somebody coughs from behind us so we break apart. I turn around and see Chaol, arms crossed and eyebrow raised. He's smiling, though. "I figured this would be happening sometime soon. Tell me the alliance is real and wasn't just an excuse for this?" He comes up to us and hugs Dorian first, then he hugs me. It's just the three of us together for a minute, just like how things used to be.

Lysandra comes out next, shouting at us, "Chaol went to get you guys like ten minutes ago! There's something Aedion has to tell you two apparently." She trudges up next to Chaol. "Why are you all so happy?" she asks, frowning.

I blush and hold up my hand. She takes it in hers, examining the ring. She looks up, a smile breaking out on her perfect face. "Oh my Gods, for real?"

"That's right; she's all mine!" Dorian exclaims proudly which just makes me giggle. Lysandra gives me a strong hug, gives Dorian a quick one, then returns to hugging me again.

"Okay, I'm super excited for you guys, but Aedion really does need to talk to you."

We follow her back inside and into the common room, Dorian and I holding hands the whole time. Aedion, Rowan, Manon, and the Thirteen are all seated. Lysandra closes the door on her way out.

Rowan raises an eyebrow at me when he notices Dorian's and my hands intertwined. _Were you going to tell me about this?_

I shake my head. _Don't bring this up now. We'll talk later, I promise._

"Good, you've finally decided to join us," Aedion remarks bitterly. This must not be very pleasant news. "Please sit. I'm afraid this news isn't to be taken lightly." Like all of our meetings go, everyone sits while Aedion stands at the head of the table, always a leader. But this time he take a seat as well, saying, "Manon, go ahead."

Manon Blackbeak stands up, her moon white hair swaying as she moves. She has a fierce grace about her, something that makes you unsure whether to run far away from her or to run up to her and kiss her. No one dares to say a word as she prepares to speak. She clears her throat and begins, saying, "My clan and I are more than honored to assist you and your people, Queen Aelin - any family of Elide is family of mine. But the other witch clans, the Yellowlegs and the Bluebloods, will be far harder to convince.

"I believe the Bluebloods can be swayed to join us, but that will be difficult. My Thirteen and I will be returning to the Wastes tomorrow in order to pursue this hunch - which reminds me, Elide is coming with us. As for the Yellowlegs, there seems to be no possible measure to ally with them. Aedion and I have gone over several ideas, but overall the Yellowlegs are still pissed about their Matron. Rather understandably, might I add. No offense to you, Queen."

Manon returns to her seat, her statement now over. Aedion rises to finish up before I'm expected to comment on the situation. "The Yellowlegs are more than likely to side with the Duke rather than to stay out of the war altogether, purely for spite of you, Aelin. We need to go over our current plans to reevaluate them, factoring in this new information." He sits down, signaling for me to say something.

I remain in my chair but I clear my throat and speak up. My hands are still tangled with Dorian's under the table. "Good. We should begin reevaluating the plans tomorrow morning, as soon as we've seen the Blackbeaks out. Tomorrow will be a busy day, so I encourage you all to get a good night's sleep. Any questions or comments?" I ask.

Only one hand gets raised. He doesn't wait for me to say anything before he begins. "Has there been any progress on the Terrasen-Adarlan alliance planning?"

I give a side glance to Dorian who nods back at me. I nod at him, then we let go of each other's hands before both standing. "Yes, actually. King Dorian and I have been doing, some, um, thinking, talking really," I babble, regretting it instantly. I can feel the heat rise in my cheeks. This isn't how I want to tell Rowan about everything, but it's also too late. How am I supposed to say this? It _just_ happened!

Dorian takes over. "Queen Aelin and I finalized the plans this evening. We have been carrying out a romantic relationship, and it made sense, for the sake of the alliance, to progress in this relationship further."

"We're engaged," I finish. Nobody says anything, not even the man who asked the question. "Within the next few days, when there's time, Dorian and I will work on sharing this news with Terrasen and Adarlan."

Aedion is the first to react; he gets up, fully smiling, and crosses the room to pull Dorian and I both into a hug at the same time. This triggers hugs and smiles and polite comments from the rest of the room, but I notice Rowan slip out, trying to be unnoticed. But Dorian seems to notice, too, because he leans in and whispers to me, "You should go after him. I'll see you in our room later, okay?"

I nod, squeeze his hand in a "thanks", then rush to follow Rowan. I owe him an explanation - after everything, I owe him so much more than that, but I owe him this at the least. I trail him outside toward the peach trees, but he goes beyond them. He ends up climbing up the hill and resting at the top, letting the blackness of the night sky consume him. I sit next to him in the silence, trying to come up with something to say when he beats me to it.

"I always knew, Aelin. That he was your mate."

I'm stunned. "What?"

He won't meet my gaze yet he continues. "The first time I saw you two together, in his castle, months ago, I knew. You were mine and he was just your friend, but the way you looked at him...I knew. It reminded me of me, when I was with…" His voice trails off, getting quieter, like it's too much pain to say her name. "I was selfish; I kept you for myself and never told you. When we had that fight and you ran off...then when you showed up again with him...you were different. Like a painful burden had been lifted from your shoulders, like you could finally feel peace and serenity because you'd found your mate.

"So I knew that _you_ knew, too. And I knew you'd never be mine again."

I reach out and grab his hand. "Rowan, you mean so much to me. You're my carranam. I'll always love you, of course, just like I'll always love Chaol. But Dorian is my mate, and I'm in love with him."

Rowan finally looks up at me, his green eyes sad but calm. "It's okay, Aelin. Part of me always knew it could never last between us. I mean, my mate has already come and gone...there's only the one. And I'm incredibly happy for you, Aelin, because you've found your one."

We both smile: I can tell he's thinking about Lyria; I'm thinking about a certain dark-haired king.


End file.
